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samedi 25 janvier 2014

Basic Principles On How To Deal With Bullying

By Nelda Powers


Bullying is a common problem that we have to deal with once in a while. Some of us have had to face off with bullies over a long period of time while for others it may just be an occasional problem. Bullying is defined as the habitual use of aggression to gain power over others. It also entails using coercion, threats, abuse and intimidation. Such behaviour is usually directed towards specific targets. The behaviour can often be explained by differences in race, religion, gender, class, size, strength among others. To deal with bullying, movements have been created and laws made, all in a bid to combat the rising suicide cases among teenagers.

This undesirable behavior can be in divided into 3 forms; emotional, verbal and physical abuse. Emotional and verbal abuse are forms of insults and intimidation while physical abuse is hands on. The pattern of abuse is almost similar in both females and males when both victim and perpetrator are adults who would rather have it the verbal and emotional way. This is because physical violence tends to paint a bad image in public and perpetrators would rather avoid it. Physical abuse may also be avoided when the target appears stronger than the perpetrator. However, in majority of cases, females are usually non physical.

The act of bullying that can be used is that of direct and indirect. The former type involves the use of force against the individual. It includes forces such as pulling, kicking, biting, shoving and pushing. The indirect type, on the other hand, is mainly characterised by social aggression whose main objective is to isolate the victim. Negative publicity is a major tool used here.

What exactly is the motive behind this kind of aggressive behaviour? Studies indicate that most bullies are weak at heart and would rather disguise their weakness by forcing it on others. Such people lack self esteem or may have been gone through the same a similar experience at some point in their life. Others learn this act from people that are close to them.

One of the other common causes of this undesirable behaviour is a personality disorder. The common forms of personalities seen are temperamental, obsessive or an excessive concern about a self-image. If they are of school attending age, they usually perform rather poorly compared to their colleagues. Within a social group, they want to be regarded with fear and respect.

There are many negative effects associated with this problem including depression and a feeling of loneliness. The victims also have their self-esteem lowered markedly and start to lose interest in life activities. In extremes, it may lead to post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. The victims become bitter and may themselves become violent in future. If one manages to stand up to a bully, they gain a lot of respect in return.

There are many programs that one can enrol in if their children are being bullied by other children. The same can also be used by teachers and other persons who are responsible for the welfare of children. Peer counselling programs are now available in many places and have been shown to be very helpful to the victims and those who support them.

Victims can deal with bullying but taking the challenge heads on. They need to face their opponent with confidence and a positive attitude. This way, they end up gaining respect and admiration of not only the bullies but also the immediate onlookers.




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