A rapid end to lovemaking because of the man's inability to control himself can be devastating to a woman. Little wonder that one of the most frequent searches on the web is for tips to last longer in bed for men! A quick ending to a couple's lovemaking can deprive the woman of the satisfaction which is her reward from giving herself to her partner. She might think that her spouse either does not care about her or that he is indifferent to her needs. And a man who reaches climax with no control sometimes feels like a poor lover.
None of this is helpful for the couple's relationship, especially when the problem is not openly talked about. However, the anger produced by sexual problems like this is hugely stressful, and the man and woman frequently continue on with this massive issue unresolved. If you recognize this, you may ask, what can be done? The reassuring news is - you have the power to resolve this!
Firstly, you must discuss it honestly: in simple terms, this means you tell your partner your emotions. However, in reality our research proves as few as ten percent of couples find it easy to talk about difficulties with sex. So, to help you be honest about your sex life, we have some tricks to assist you:
1) Say how you feel - please do not use the tactic of avoiding responsibility by blaming your lover. Being able to listen openly without reacting emotionally means you'll engender far less resistance - and your partner is probably going to be much more willing to listen to what you want to say without judging you.
2) Don't think of your partner as being at fault - being able to accept that you are in this together is necessary to eliminating mutual anger and mistrust. Only when you are able to accept that your lover's emotions are an honest reaction to the challenges you face, and that they are entitled to think, feel and act as they do, will you begin to value each other as you actually are.
3) Don't give way to self pity. Doing something is more constructive. This may mean getting the support of a counselor. Or it may mean something as simple as making space every day to speak to your girlfriend or boyfriend about what is bothering you.
4) If you have trouble opening up about intimate matters consider the things you wish to discuss before you start. Knowing your position is crucial in finding the respect of your partner. It's also helpful to know your boundaries in any conversation about sex. That way you are be more likely to avoid concessions you regret.
5) Be clear about how you feel. It's often hard to know exactly what's behind our thoughts and feelings, and it's likely you may only fully know the real problem as you talk about the issue. And, if you are clear what you would like to change, you are more likely to get it. The more honestly you show yourself, the more honestly you talk about what's going on for you, the more connected you will become as a couple.
Secondly, work together on a trusted self-help treatment program for curing male sexual problems. There are several to choose from on the internet and a brief search is often enough to discover one that works for you and your partner. The important characteristics you should to seek out are: honest references, a full money-back guarantee, and a reputable author. I have shown in over 10 years' work men with sexual problems that self-help programs are just as effective as office-based counseling for the majority of men, so long as they are highly ready to change their sexual game.
None of this is helpful for the couple's relationship, especially when the problem is not openly talked about. However, the anger produced by sexual problems like this is hugely stressful, and the man and woman frequently continue on with this massive issue unresolved. If you recognize this, you may ask, what can be done? The reassuring news is - you have the power to resolve this!
Firstly, you must discuss it honestly: in simple terms, this means you tell your partner your emotions. However, in reality our research proves as few as ten percent of couples find it easy to talk about difficulties with sex. So, to help you be honest about your sex life, we have some tricks to assist you:
1) Say how you feel - please do not use the tactic of avoiding responsibility by blaming your lover. Being able to listen openly without reacting emotionally means you'll engender far less resistance - and your partner is probably going to be much more willing to listen to what you want to say without judging you.
2) Don't think of your partner as being at fault - being able to accept that you are in this together is necessary to eliminating mutual anger and mistrust. Only when you are able to accept that your lover's emotions are an honest reaction to the challenges you face, and that they are entitled to think, feel and act as they do, will you begin to value each other as you actually are.
3) Don't give way to self pity. Doing something is more constructive. This may mean getting the support of a counselor. Or it may mean something as simple as making space every day to speak to your girlfriend or boyfriend about what is bothering you.
4) If you have trouble opening up about intimate matters consider the things you wish to discuss before you start. Knowing your position is crucial in finding the respect of your partner. It's also helpful to know your boundaries in any conversation about sex. That way you are be more likely to avoid concessions you regret.
5) Be clear about how you feel. It's often hard to know exactly what's behind our thoughts and feelings, and it's likely you may only fully know the real problem as you talk about the issue. And, if you are clear what you would like to change, you are more likely to get it. The more honestly you show yourself, the more honestly you talk about what's going on for you, the more connected you will become as a couple.
Secondly, work together on a trusted self-help treatment program for curing male sexual problems. There are several to choose from on the internet and a brief search is often enough to discover one that works for you and your partner. The important characteristics you should to seek out are: honest references, a full money-back guarantee, and a reputable author. I have shown in over 10 years' work men with sexual problems that self-help programs are just as effective as office-based counseling for the majority of men, so long as they are highly ready to change their sexual game.
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